Lesson 6 Table Manners in Anglo-America
Table Manners in Anglo-America
"Oh, no! Here I am at an American family’s home at the dinner table. There are all kinds of plates, saucers, cups, and silverware at my place. Which should I use for which food? Should I sit down first or wait for the host to invite me? Should I have brought a gift? Someone please tell me what to do! "
Have you ever been in or had a nightmare about this situation? Don’t worry! This article will help steer you through the rocks and reefs of Anglo-American table manners so that if you are ever abroad in Canada or the United States, or at someone’s home from one of those countries, you will feel right at home.
It is important to distinguish what kind of occasion you will be attending before you plan for a pleasant evening. Most Anglo-Americans enjoy entertaining at home, but they don’t enjoy stuffy , formal dinners. They invite their friends over for a fun evening, not as a test of one’s knowledge of cultural traditions. If, however, you are invited to a formal affair, such as a so-called “sit-down” dinner, you may want to know in advance some basic rules of “black tie” etiquette .
The first thing to remember when attending a dinner at a Western home is that you are the guest and that you are a foreigner. No one will invite you if he does not really want you to enter his "castle;’ so you can be sure that you are wanted. Additionally, as you do not come from the same country or culture as your host, he or she or they will surely be aware of this, and will be very forgiving if you unintentionally do or say something which would otherwise offend them .Keeping these two simple tips in mind should greatly ease your concern about being present at a dinner in someone else’s home.
Before arriving at your host’s home, you may want to make sure of three things. First, be a few minutes late, say, about five to ten minutes if possible. Never be early, as the host may not have everything prepared yet. Nor should you be more than 20 minutes late. Your host may begin to worry about whether you are able to attend the dinner or not. Next, as to whether to bring a gift, in most informal gatherings, it is not necessary. If you like, you can bring some fruit or sweets, or, especially if there is a hostess, some flowers. These are thoughtful cheerful gifts sure to please. Do not bring alcoholic beverages unless you are sure of your host’s or hostess’s preferences in drinks. Above all, do not spend a lot of money, and never give money. As we say in English, " it’s the thought that counts !’ finally, wear comfortable clothing. One can overdress as well as appear sloppy . For a special occasion or religious holiday, such as a retirement party or Christmas, a tie and jacket would be suitable for the gentlemen and a dress or sweater and skirt for the ladies.
For more formal affairs, you will probably be told what to wear, such as "formal dress requested,” etc. A tie and jacket or tuxedo for the gents and an evening gown for the ladies would be in order here. If you are unsure what to wear, you can always ask the host. Gifts are seldom appropriate for these affairs, unless for a wedding reception, at which gifts are more customary than cash.
Your host in his home will usually motion you where to sit. At formal gatherings, name cards are sometimes provided, or you will be told where to sit. Do not be alarmed by a great deal of cutlery : simply start from the outside and work your way in. Formal affairs often have several courses of food with the appropriate cutlery for each dish. There is no harm in checking with your neighbor to see what implement he is using. After all, " When in Rome, do as the Romans do :’ It is customary to ask others to pass dishes to you for self-serving; at a formal dinner party, there is usually catering (service). Again, do not hesitate to ask others for information or advice. They are usually pleased to help you.
The most important piece of advice is this: enjoy yourself. No host enjoys seeing nervous or fearful guests who are struggling to “do the right thing” at his home or expensive formal dinner party. Watch others or ask for their advice, and join in the conversation and good times as best you can .If you do, after the first such evening out, you will certainly look forward to the next!
“哦，不！我现在身处一个美国家庭的餐桌旁。我面前摆放着各种各样的盘子、茶碟、杯子和银餐具。吃不同的食物该用哪件餐具呢？我应该先坐下还是等主人邀请呢？我该带个礼物来吗？谁能告诉我该怎么做啊！”
你是否曾经历过这种情况或者做过关于它的噩梦呢？别担心！本文将帮助你避开英美餐桌礼仪的暗礁险滩，这样一来，如果你身处加拿大或美国，或者在来自这两个国家之一的某个人家里，你会感觉宾至如归。
在你为一个愉快的夜晚做准备之前，区分你要参加的是哪种场合很重要。大多数英美人士喜欢在家招待客人，但他们不喜欢古板、正式的晚宴。他们邀请朋友来共度欢乐时光，而不是来考验某人对文化传统的了解。然而，如果你被邀请参加一个正式活动，比如所谓的“坐下来吃”的晚宴，你可能想提前了解一些“黑领结”礼仪的基本规则。
当你在西方人家中参加晚宴时，首先要记住的是你是客人，而且你是个外国人。如果主人不是真心想邀请你进入他的“城堡”，就不会邀请你，所以你可以确定你是受欢迎的。此外，由于你和主人来自不同的国家或文化，他或她或他们肯定会意识到这一点，如果你无意中做了或说了某些否则会冒犯他们的事情，他们会非常宽容。记住这两个简单的要点应该会大大减轻你对在别人家参加晚宴的担忧。
在到达主人家之前，你可能想确认三件事。首先，稍微迟到几分钟，比如说，如果可能的话，大约迟到五到十分钟。绝不要早到，因为主人可能还没有把一切都准备好。你也不应该迟到超过二十分钟。你的主人可能会开始担心你是否能来参加晚宴。其次，关于是否带礼物，在大多数非正式聚会上，这不是必需的。如果你愿意，你可以带些水果或糖果，或者，特别是如果有女主人的话，带些花。这些都是贴心又讨喜的礼物。除非你确定主人或女主人对饮品的喜好，否则不要带酒精饮料。最重要的是，不要花很多钱，而且绝对不要给钱。就像我们在英语里说的，“心意最重要！”最后，穿舒适的衣服。一个人既可能穿得过于讲究，也可能显得邋遢。对于特殊场合或宗教节日，比如退休派对或圣诞节，男士穿领带和夹克会很合适，女士穿连衣裙或毛衣加裙子。
对于更正式的活动，你可能会被告知该穿什么，比如“要求着正装”等等。这里男士穿领带和夹克或无尾礼服，女士穿晚礼服。如果你不确定穿什么，你总是可以问主人。在这些活动中，礼物很少合适，除非是婚礼招待会，在婚礼上送礼物比送现金更常见。
在他家，主人通常会示意你坐在哪里。在正式聚会上，有时会提供名片，或者会告诉你坐在哪里。不要被大量的餐具吓到：只需从外面开始，按顺序往里用。正式活动通常有好几道菜，每道菜都配有合适的餐具。向你的邻座询问他正在使用什么餐具并无坏处。毕竟，“入乡随俗”。按习俗，人们会请别人把菜递给自己以便自取食物；在正式晚宴聚会上，通常会有餐饮服务（侍者服务）。同样，不要犹豫向别人寻求信息或建议。他们通常很乐意帮助你。
最重要的一条建议是：尽情享受。没有哪个主人喜欢看到紧张或害怕的客人在他家里或昂贵的正式晚宴聚会上努力“做对事情”。观察别人或者向他们请教，尽你所能加入谈话并享受美好时光。如果你这样做了，在第一次这样的外出晚宴之后，你肯定会期待下一次！
Vocabulary & Idioms
- suacer——小茶碟
- steer——引导
- the rocks and reefs——重重障碍
- rock——岩石
- reef——暗礁
- distinguish——辨别
- stuffy——沉闷的
- in advance——提前
- etiquette——礼仪
- some basic rules of “black tie” etiquette——黑领带礼仪的一些基本规则
- be aware of——意识到
- thoughtful——体贴的，周到的
- It’s the thought that counts——心意最重要
- overdress——过度打扮
- appropriate——合适的
- customary——惯例的
- motion——以姿态或手势示意
- cultery——刀叉类餐具
- There is no harm in + V-ing——做……无妨
- implement——器具
- hesitate——犹豫
- look forward to——盼望